The First Meeting

How do you reflect on a year that has been like no other? A time when we were told to ‘work together by staying apart’, when lives have been turned upside down and what was not possible for many (work from home), is now the rule. Where technology has permitted us to grow new skills of digital connection in a world alien to the multitude twelve months prior. Teachers, Parents, Students, Grandparents, Friends, even my fellow Counsellors and Clients have adapted, to varying degrees, to a life explored in various capacities through now familiar Zoom links, Google meets and Teams groups. How our language has adapted, our behaviours, our daily routines… When I reflect on my own experience of this past year and a little more, I am incredibly thankful for so much. Living in the countryside on my family farm has afforded me space and time…including a list of jobs that needed doing the chance to get done! Though, as with most farms, many more added to an ever growing and evolving list. The humourous memes of dogs hiding on their owners to escape another walk abound…though ours would never miss the opportunity! Baking banana bread and raspberry and white chocolate muffins, signing up to online fitness classes and exploring the limits of my 5km. I zoomed with friends…and got exhausted by it…and came back to them again in different ways. This time has brought on a type of tiredness at times. The hope of 2021 in the final weeks of 2020, then the flatness felt collectively as figures rose and restrictions tightened in the time of shorter days. These past fourteen months have not been without losses. My grandparents, on my mum’s side, both have passed away, a year and ten minutes to the day of each other. Watching their funerals on screens from across the Irish Sea will never replace the tangibility of presence. We also lost a family friend, who was in every way our Grandad, a larger than life personality. The impression left behind is one I would never want to forget and one that will never be filled in the same way. Restrictions limited our ability to celebrate their lives in the special way we come together, as neighbour, friend and family. Loss has been a major theme of these times. Highlighted each day in the covid figures. In the beginning, I was like the majority, watching and waiting to hear what our stats were. Although self-preservation kicked in and I began to limit my exposure, my mind needed the space away from the constant news reel. I still check in, but not daily. In our every day we have choices. Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor who became an eminent US social psychologist, shared many significant social psychology concepts, one of which is the space between stimulus and response. In Frankl’s words, “Between the stimulus and response, there is a space. And in that space lies our freedom and power to choose our responses. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Every minute of every day, we are faced with choices of how to respond to the stimuli around us. Some of these choices are big, some of them are small. “Do I go to for a run this morning or this afternoon, or skip it all together? Do I respond to this “annoying” email now, later or never?”. At times, we don’t even get to the point of framing the question and the associated options; we just act. We respond by habit. Some of these habits serve us well, others perhaps, are a bit of a liability. While the context of Frankl’s writing is about big choices of morality, his ideas have application for the mundane and everything in between. The underlining frame is that we have choice once we give ourselves a breath and the space to respond. Photo taken early morning on the Abbeyleix Bog Walk.

Accessibility Online counselling is easily accessible to anyone who wishes to use it. For example, individuals living in rural or remote areas where there is no counselling services can benefit from the accessibility of telephone or online counselling. It removes the geographical barrier which may exist or save a long drive to the nearest town. Therefore available to everyone in all areas of Ireland. Those that have a mobility issue or unable to leave their home (caring for small children/elderly parents or have no support system to allow you spend time away from home) can also easily access these services with little inconvenience. Convenience For some who may feel initially uncomfortable with traditional modes of face to face therapy, may find online or telephone counselling more suitable. It’s highly flexible and can be accessed from your home, office or car, therefore maximising your privacy. Ability to facilitate couples/family counselling across distances – trying to schedule couples or family counselling can be challenging, especially if one or more people in the group travel. Online counselling is a great option to bridge distances and help maintain regular therapeutic sessions. I continue to follow the IACP Code of Ethics for telephone and online counselling and psychotherapy as is the case for traditional counselling. The same levels of confidentiality occur with both traditional and online counselling. The current situation for many has given space and time to reflect on challenges they have been facing and be ready to seek additional support. Counselling can help to reconnect with resources and strengths, as well as develop new ones, to make life feel more manageable. Counselling isn’t a magic wand used to make problems disappear, the therapeutic process reduces the negative impact of challenges and contributes to a sense of hope and possibility. Telephone and Online Counselling will continue throughout this time.

A few podcasts exploring topics such as anxiety, mental health and mindfulness practice

An image to help visualize how trauma can linger in the body. . . and keep us stuck in a state of “red alert” – even long after the danger has passed. Including a book recommendation.

Worried about how anxious you feel? Wondering 'what is anxiety'? Learn how to tell the difference between ‘normal’ anxiety and an anxiety disorder. Find out about potential causes of anxiety disorders, anxiety symptoms and what to do if you feel that anxiety is affecting your life.

Following are six relaxation techniques that can help you evoke the relaxation response and reduce stress. Practicing even a few minutes per day can provide a reserve of inner calm.

Mental Health Festival - Events in Carlow as part of Mensana